I really enjoyed this. My favorite part was probably when my dick fired a ten foot harpoon of jizz right out of my pants. Anyway, can I buy you some shit? Hit me up if you ever need one more guy to come hang out inside your vastly populated friend zone full of dudes secretly masturbating to your online bathing suit commercials. In conclusion, I’d rate you a 6.5 out? of 10 because you have too many dogs and you can’t afford vacations.
9/11 was an inside job. Ron Paul for president.

Erik

Internet Comment Etiquette — “Talking to Girls” is a post from: Uniting Couples

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George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 – June 22, 2008) was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, satirist, actor and writer/author, who won five Grammy Awards for his comedy albums.[23]

Wikipedia

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See… Relationships are hard, man. For order, for any relationship to work, both people have to be on the same page, both people have to have the same focus, and we all know what that page is. We all know what that focus is. In order for the relationship to work both people have to have the same focus, and what’s that focus? That focus is all about HER! It’s all about her!

Chris Rock

Chris Rock – View on Love and Relationships is a post from: Uniting Couples

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The audacious concert film Eddie Murphy Raw rubbed some people the wrong way upon its release in 1987, but there’s no denying that between Murphy’s more insensitive bits about women and gay men is some of his most inspired material. While the young comedian indulges an unattractive homophobia and rants about the sexual manipulativeness of all females, he makes up for it with an amazing story about being chided by Bill Cosby for obscene humor and does a great impression of Mr. T falling under the spell of a Jedi mind trick. The best stuff comes deep into the show, particularly a long tale of being pressured into a fight at a club, resulting in a phone call to Murphy’s drunk father, the latter in the middle of a verbal attack on his wife. The scene is genuinely horrifying and funny, testament to Murphy’s early reputation as heir to Richard Pryor’s mercilessly autobiographical brilliance

Tom Keogh

Eddie Murphy about Men and Women is a post from: Uniting Couples

Both of you must invest all you got in your marriage. Pay attention to each other, listen carefully to your partner’s desires, do all that stands in your power to make them happy and expect to be loved and cherished forever.

Marriage is based on teamwork, therefore a balance should be established between you and your loved one in order to be truly fulfilled.

The perfect way to make a statement is to do nice things for your better half each day. Small gestures go a long way. Sometimes that’s all they need to feel appreciated and adored. Your ultimate goal is to show your partner how much you love them on a daily basis because that’s the secret ingredient that lies at the bottom of every strong marriage.

If you want your marriage to blossom start letting go of all the senseless details that play no importance in your lives. Learn to read between the lines and appreciate your spouse for anything you can think of. Be careful what comes out of your mouth! Heated discussions can end up badly.

Confronting your spouse over things which are truly upsetting you is never wrong. Actually it is recommended you talk about everything that bothers you without raising your tone or getting mad.

Your marriage comes first!

Your career, your children and your family are part of your marriage, which means that this love bond is the crucial element of your happy life. Prioritizing your relationship will do wonders!

May you stay forever married!

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Your marriage can definitely be strengthened with a little help from your loved one.

Don’t lay your frustrations on your spouse. Instead, ask for guidance and understanding.

Learn to control yourself and turn all that negative energy into nice positive thoughts. Your loved ones are there for you to lean on so show them how much you really need them and that your life wouldn’t be the same without them next to you.

Remember that your partner is your best friend so stay focused on appreciating their presence and make them feel loved and supported too.

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Professional help is meant to recreate the connection between the two of you, by enabling you to communicate more about your feelings and judgments, and providing ways to strengthen your interaction on deeper levels.

A counselor can determine you to identify your bad habits and other things that you should improve in your marriage. You will also learn to have a more correct perspective on your partner’s true feelings and needs.

A great way to show your commitment is to agree to see a counselor when your spouse suggests it to you.

On the other hand, if you believe that seeing a counselor will help fix your marriage don’t hesitate to make that suggestion.

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After having had the liberating conversation and you feeling ready to understand your spouse completely along with their needs and desires, don’t waste any time and initiate a plan to prevent things from becoming monotonous again.

It’s amazing how fast things can get messy again. If you don’t want to be back to the awkward place you were trying to escape from, put your creativity at work and come up with ways to spend more time with your partner and making them feel like they are the most important persons to you.

Don’t be afraid to modify your daily routine, including work schedules, putting your kids to sleep earlier, or having a morning conversation during breakfast.

All you need to do is to spend every day focusing not only on your job or your kids, but on your marriage too. Show your loved one that you are serious about this and that you are fully determined to save your marriage.

Your partner also needs to follow your lead and communicate with you. Digressing from the subject is not advisable so stay focused and don’t get lost in the unpleasant details.

Two of the biggest secrets that lie at the bottom of a successful marriage are devotion and dedication. Marriage is not all fun but as long as you truly love your spouse you will stay together through thick and thin, and not by obligation.

You are in this together and that‘s all you need to make it work! 

Leaving the Past Behind and Preventing Your Divorce is a post from: Uniting Couples

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If you want to be able to get passed your issues and revive your love bond, you must find time and talk to your partner about your relationship. This private conversation should remain private, that’s why you shouldn’t be interrupted. Take advantage of this opportunity to reconnect.

Be completely honest and share all your frustrating thoughts and concerns related to your marriage. Your partner should be sincere as well because both of you should encourage one and another to be open, leaving all judgment aside.

The truth can hurt, but sometimes people need to hurt a little in order to realize where they did wrong and understand that if they are determined to get their love life back on track they must approach this without skipping any steps.

Don’t interrupt your spouse during the conversation. Even though you want to express your opinion on the subject and correct them, try not to do it. You have to understand that you are different persons and you have different views on your matters. Don’t try to impose your version of the facts because you will only end up fighting. It’s all about understanding their feelings and getting to know them better.

This is the secret to any healthy long term relationship. Make your partners want to come to you and discuss what they have in mind without having to worry about your reaction.

Compromise is a very powerful weapon in the battle against losing the one you love. You must learn to reach a common ground when it comes to your ideas, feelings and thoughts. Remember that you are both equals and you have to work together and grow together.

Stand by your principles and concepts. Don’t let anybody guide you and manipulate your thoughts.

When people try to make us give up on our ideas, the logical response is to become introverted and transform into somebody we are not just to please the other one.

This decreases your chances to fix your marriage and problems are harder to identify. The best piece of advice for you would be to turn yourself into a sponge and absorb as much as you can while encouraging your partner to speak their mind whenever they feel like it.

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It’s not an easy task, mainly because you might think that your partner is missing something when they are actually bothered by a totally different thing. Try looking at your situation from the perspective of your loved one.

Try to figure out what is that special issue responsible for that bad communication between you. Why aren’t you communicating like you used to? Think really hard and put your finger on it because generalities should be avoided.

You have to be completely honest and identify your mistakes. Focus on how to fix them and show your better half how serious you are about making your relationship work.

Think of all the little things that led to this emotional distancing between you and your partner and don’t leave anything out. Some secrets lie in the details.

Usually marriages fail because small incidents repeat over time and that determines one of you to blow up. In order for that not to happen you must get at the bottom of every issue and make sure you repair your relationship so that problems like that won’t get in between again.

I know there are way too many aspects to consider during the identification process but a walk down memory lane will do you both a favor. Discovering the exact moments when everything started to go downhill will enable you to make amends and start working on your future happiness.

If you feel that you are the one to blame for the actual state of the relationship, you must do something about it. It is up to you to turn things around.

1. Does your spouse feel neglected?
2. Are you feeling cornered by the daily routine and spending time with you better half is not the same as it used to be?
3. Having kids is taking too much of your time that determines intimacy to be out of the question?
4. Is work the reason why you have become sidetracked?

Every long term relationship requires special treatment for its well-functioning. Don’t ever take your better half for granted just because you’ve been in this together for so long. Don’t get too comfortable with each other because even though they have vowed to stick with you until the end of time, they haven’t vowed to stay in love forever. And leading your partner away is not something you should do.

The first thing you should do is spend more time with your spouse. Make time to bring things back to the way they once were. Why not go on a date and rekindle the old flame? The number of years together doesn’t matter when it comes to this approach. All that matters is the two of you.

There’s no other person in the world who knows your partner better than you, so come up with a special plan to take them out on a thrilling date and create new memorable moments to last for a lifetime.

At this stage you really shouldn’t talk about your problems, but simply enjoy your date and make the most out of this time away from it all.

This is the perfect moment for both of you to relax and remember the good days when being together was all that mattered and when life was a little less complicated.

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